


it's you i welcome death with

by PewDiePie



Series: amor unus [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Crying, Death, Dying together, Heavy Angst, I'm so sorry, Kissing, M/M, Past Lives, Sad, Sad Ending, Slow Dancing, Soulmates, The Deletion of Unus Annus, The End, Things left unsaid, Unus Annus, bucketloads of angst, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27572341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PewDiePie/pseuds/PewDiePie
Summary: "000:00:03:00,000:00:02:59,000:00:02:58,000:00:02:57—Annus can hear the clock ticking down.";or — Unus and Annus's last three minutes together.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson (implied), Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor, Unus/Annus
Series: amor unus [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2011075
Comments: 20
Kudos: 96





	it's you i welcome death with

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "as the world caves in" by matt maltese. if you'd like to cry, read while listening to ethan's cover of it.
> 
> takes place a few hours after "the final hours". i'd recommend reading it first to understand a little more, but it may not be 100% necessary. you might get confused, though. ):

_000:00:03:00,_

_000:00:02:59,_

_000:00:02:58,_

_000:00:02:57—_

Annus can hear the clock ticking down.

_000:00:02:56—_

He takes a shaky breath and looks at Unus, takes his hand. His lover is in tears, his temporary body trembling as Annus pulls him closer to dance with him. It's their final night alive, less than three minutes until midnight. Annus knows that death is certain now; the clock cannot be stopped, and time waits for no one. But while he hates it, he also finds himself feeling a little… happy. He isn't looking forward to what may happen next, where they might end up – unless, of course, they're together, after the end – but he'd rather not spend his last couple of minutes alive sad.

_000:00:02:51—_

Unus is breathtaking. Always has been, no matter what he looked like. Annus has loved him forever, will keep loving him until it is impossible for him to continue on doing so. They sway together in the yard, dancing in the grass, and Annus leans forward to kiss Unus's forehead, then allows his lover to pull him closer, and they hold each other tightly, never wanting to let go.

_000:00:02:40—_

"I love you," Annus whispers, arms tightening just a little around Unus's body, his lips pressing kisses to his lover's neck and shoulder before turning to kiss just below the ear. "I know you're sad and afraid, my darling, but we'll be together until the very last second. I'm certain that death will be quick and painless and will come for us at the exact same time, so neither of us will have to spend a single second here apart. You won't be alone."

Unus swallows. "Maybe not alone _here,_ " he says softly into Annus's shoulder, voice cracking, "but what if… what if where we end up again is the same as before? Dark, empty, cold and _lonely?_ What if we go back there, separated and–"

Annus shushes him. "But what if we don't?" he proposes, hands sliding up and down Unus's back before he pulls away only enough to see that beautiful face. "What if we die together, in each other's arms? Maybe then… we can be together after."

_000:00:02:23,_

_000:00:02:22—_

Unus blinks at him, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "You think that could work?" he asks, seriously. His tone even sounds hopeful, too. Annus isn't really sure where they'll end up again — they could be together, they could be apart — but he doesn't want Unus to be sad, and Annus doesn't want to be sad either. If they can hold onto hope, death might not be so bad.

_000:00:02:16—_

"I think anything is possible for us, love," Annus replies truthfully, his forehead resting against Unus's. "I just hope that maybe this time, the universe will allow us to remain together, where we belong, because you are _everything_ to me, and without you I am nothing at all. You are my second-half, you are my soulmate, you are the love of my _whole entire existence._ I never want a single moment, a single second away from you again."

He pauses, tears welling up in his eyes as he gently caresses his lover's cheek. "It may be our time now, but at least we can say that we were here. We were together one last time, for one year, and we made it as good as we were able to. We did the best we could. It may have not been enough, it may not have been exactly everything we wanted, but it was _something_ — it was what we were given, what we needed. And that's okay. Every life has a timer, and ours is just… almost up now. After all, this was a second chance. It's more than we were supposed to have. And we may not be ready, but nobody ever is, are they?"

_000:00:02:00—_

"You're right," Unus whispers, nodding, tears of his own falling. "I know you're right, I just… I never want to let go of this. I know I have to, I know we have to die. As you said, it's our fate. But I… I selfishly wanted more. I wanted to stay here with you. I know that I can't– that _we_ can't stay, but that doesn't mean that I never wanted it. I _still_ do. Of _course_ I still do. I know that it won't happen though. And… I guess it's okay. Though if we could finally be together on the other side, that would truly be enough for me."

_000:00:01:51—_

"If we're not together on the other side," Annus starts, smiling warmly despite the tears, "then I will do everything I am able to find you there if it's possible. And if I find you, I will follow you wherever you may go."

"Will you?" Unus breathes, teary hazel eyes opening to lock onto watery honey-browns. "Do you promise?"

"Yes, of course I promise," Annus says, not missing a beat. "I'll always look for you. Always."

_000:00:01:44,_

_000:00:01:43,_

_000:00:01:42—_

Unus smiles a little sadly as Annus steps away to twirl him. Annus loves it whenever his lover smiles, even if it's a sad one; he's so beautiful. _So beautiful._ Annus can't help himself but to kiss Unus softly on the mouth when he brings him back against his chest. He does his best to ignore the ticking of the clock counting down, wondering what else he should say before it's over. Many things come to mind — all of the things he'd never said, things that would comfort Unus, things he wants to make sure Unus knows, things he's sure Unus probably already knows by now — but all of it feels unimportant, as if he'd just be wasting time by saying any of it right now, with so little time left. He feels there's more important things he should say, but really, hasn't he said everything already? What is left at this point?

_000:00:01:30—_

He disconnects their lips, holding Unus close to him again as they continue to sway, chest to chest. He can feel the strong heartbeat within Ethan's body, knows that it's time for him and Mark to take back what's theirs again. Even if Unus and Annus could stay, it wouldn't be fair for the other two to lose their bodies, therefore their lives so that others (that had lived once before) could live instead. It's not right.

"I love you," Unus utters quietly, breaking the silence first. "I- I love you more than anything."

_000:00:01:25—_

"I know," Annus tells him, stroking his hair, holding his trembling body so close. "I love you so much."

_000:00:01:23—_

"There's so much I want to say to you," Unus chokes out, "but I don't even know where to start, you know? I just don't know what's worth saying."

"I understand," Annus responds, kissing the side of his lover's neck once again. "But anything you have to say to me is worth hearing, even when there's so little time left."

"Really?"

"Of course."

_000:00:01:17—_

They both fall quiet for a moment.

_000:00:01:11,_

_000:00:01:10—_

"I'm so glad I had a whole nother year with you," Unus murmurs, pulling away and stopping all movement. Annus feels so exposed, so naked and open with the way his lover is looking into his eyes. "It was so much more than I could've hoped for in the beginning, and maybe I took it for granted and I shouldn't have. I'm just… so happy that you're here with me for all the time we have left, as little as there may be."

_000:00:01:03—_

"I'm proud of you," Annus says, exhaling softly. " _S_ _o_ proud of you, darling. You're the only one there is for me, the only one I'm willing to die for, the only one I could ever want beside me, especially now. It's _you_ I welcome death with. It's _you_ I want to stay with forever, whether we're alive or we're dead. And it's _you_ that I have had the pleasure of being in love with for all the seconds I spent on this earth."

"Annus," Unus begins, more tears making their way down his pale cheeks. He doesn't say anything else though, and Annus gives him another smile.

"You're so beautiful," he tells him as he wipes the tears away. Unus grabs onto his ivory suit, gripping it tightly in his hands.

"So are you," he sighs sadly, and then stops. When he speaks again, he's saying, "Would you lie with me?"

_000:00:00:48,_

_000:00:00:47—_

"Of course," Annus answers, lowering himself into the grass and lying on his back. Unus lowers himself to his knees, curling up on his side beside Annus. The aforementioned turns to hold his lover close, against his chest. Unus exhales shakily.

_000:00:00:40—_

"Are you afraid?" Annus hears his lover whisper, and he meets Unus's eyes.

"Yes, I am," Annus replies truthfully after a moment. "But that's okay. At the same time, I think I feel like I'm almost… ready, you know?" After a pause, he asks, "Are you scared?"

_000:00:00:34—_

"Yes," Unus admits, though to be fair Annus knew that already, of course. "I'm terrified."

"I know. It'll be okay."

_000:00:00:29,_

_000:00:00:28—_

"You said it wouldn't hurt?"

Annus gives a nod. "I'm sure it'll be painless. Don't you worry one bit, my dear."

"Okay. I won't."

_000:00:00:24,_

_000:00:00:23—_

Annus shifts, caressing Unus's cheek once more. His thumb brushes over his lover's cheekbone, wiping the tears away once more. Unus leans into the touch, his eyes falling shut.

_000:00:00:20,_

_000:00:00:19—_

"I think I'm ready too, Annus."

Annus hums in response as Unus's eyes reopen to search his. His lover's hand is on his chest, sliding up to play with the long hair that barely reaches his shoulders.

"I'm glad," he finally utters, taking Unus's hand and moving it to his mouth in order to kiss his fingertips. "I'm ready as long as I have you with me."

_000:00:00:14,_

_000:00:00:13—_

"I think it's time we say goodbye," Annus says, watching as Unus breaks down and sobs into his shoulder at these words. He strokes his hair some more, kisses the top of his head. "Please don't cry, Unus. We both knew that this would be coming. Everything is going to be okay."

_000:00:00:10—_

"I know," Unus mutters, cries muffled until he pulls his head back. "I- I just can't help it."

_000:00:00:09—_

Annus looks at him. "Then why don't we just say _goodnight_ instead? Sound okay?"

_000:00:00:08—_

Nodding quickly, Unus holds Annus tighter. "Okay," he whispers. "G- Goodnight, love. See you on the other side."

_000:00:00:07—_

"Goodnight, my love," Annus murmurs back. "And goodbye."

_000:00:00:06—_

"I love you," Unus breathes, thumb brushing over Annus's jaw.

_000:00:00:05—_

"I love you. So much. More than words could ever say."

_000:00:00:04—_

Unus closes the gap, kissing Annus softly, gently. It's everything, absolutely everything.

_000:00:00:03,_

_000:00:00:02—_

Annus pulls back quickly. There's one last thing he needs to say. "Unus?"

_000:00:00:01—_

Unus opens his eyes to meet Annus's for the last time. "Annus?"

_000:00:00:00._

Just like that, it's over. The clock stops ticking.

—

_(Mark opens his eyes. It's pretty dark, a little chilly, and he's lying with someone. Just as his eyes start to adjust to the dark, he reaches into his pocket to retrieve his phone and clicks on the screen. The light hurts his eyes, but he squints through it. The time reads: 12:01am. Using the glow from his phone, he looks down at himself to find Ethan, asleep, in his arms and pressed against his chest, tears on his cheeks as if he'd been crying. Mark finds himself feeling confused, as if he's forgetting something._

_Ah! It suddenly comes to him: the timer. It's past time to delete the channel. He wonders how he and Ethan were so careless as to fall asleep like this and miss their chance to delete Unus Annus on time, wonders how they even got out here and why they're lying together and why Ethan was crying. Mark sighs and uses his phone to get ready and wake Ethan to delete the channel now, but when he tries to log in, it doesn't work. He types "Unus Annus" in the search bar, only to find that it's been deleted. Strange. Did Amy perhaps do it for them? If so, Mark will have to thank her. Though at the same time, if she did, he feels a little robbed of getting to do it himself._

_Confused, Mark turns off his phone screen and moves to shake Ethan awake.)_

_—_

**Author's Note:**

> unus annus was deleted as of last night and I'm devastated, so of course i wrote this to make it worse for myself. i'm considering writing an alternate ending to this oneshot — a happy one, but i'm not sure ): you guys should tell me. if you have a suggestion for this series, please let me know!
> 
> as always, if you'd like to chat (or cry) about unus annus, mark, ethan or anything else, my tumblr is @ephemeraljimin, and my insta is @twilightjimin.
> 
> memento mori. unus annus.


End file.
